 |
Some upfront info... On 10/26 I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes. We went to my ENT, who noted that I’ll need to have a Total Thyroidectomy, and a “Left Neck Dissection” which is a fancy way to say that they removed all of my lymph nodes on my left side (oh, and it’s every bit as gruesome as it sounds!).
Well, I went into my initial visit in early October, and the nurse was wearing Packers scrubs (there’s probably a joke there, but I’ll leave that one for BarrNone to figure out). Anyhow, I immediately informed her I was a Vikings fan, and then apologized that her season was over courtesy of OUR defense. We then got into a discussion about how much she hated me because of what the Vikings did to her star QB (I actually like a nurse that will goof off with me... smart ass nurses are great), and informed me of the immense joy she would take numbing my nose for my inbound scope (oh boy, was that gross).
She THEN informed me that SHE would be the person removing my sutures post-op. I found all of this back and forth quite funny (as I’ve said, I find smart-ass nurses to be hilarious, and appreciate when they’ll trade barbs with me).
On 12/14 I had my neck dissection and total thyroidectomy. As someone that hasn’t had a surgery since I had a tonsilectomy in 1979, I can honestly say I’m good now with having a surgery. All good. I can check that off of the list, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to wake up with a slit throat again. Because it feels exactly like that... a slit throat. They got everything out, and next up is radioactive iodine treatment (a hermit’s life for me!). Oh, and btw... she is NOT going to be the gal removing my sutures, because... I don’t HAVE sutures! I’ve been Frankensteined and have staples (even cooler... True story, I asked the surgeon if he could put some bolts on either side of my neck, and he kinda chuckled to himself. I’ll count that as a victory for my humor). I was in the hospital from 12/14 through Monday, 12/18 at noon.
A couple things: - After going that long without a shower, I think I nearly passed out from euphoria from my first shower encounter. No lie... It was that amazing.
- Drainage tubes... or JPs... Wow. Just wow. Nothing in the history of the world has ever been so vile, or unnatural. I get that they serve a great purpose, but boy were they gross...
- My incision... Holy hell... it’s hard core. It’s from the base of my clavicle, just left of center, over, and up behind my jaw. DAMN if I had a tougher looking disposition I’d look like a bad ass!
- I was in my hospital bed watching the Vikings game on Hulu TV... wow, the power of streaming media. Made me freaking day. Made my day even more to be watching the game and occassionally check into chat. Great times!
- Narcotics... Dude. I’m only on Tylenol, and thank goodness for that. They had me on Norco, which I immediately nixed after getting 1 hour of sleep on night 1, then moved me to percocet, which was equally evil. I have never been a guy to take a ton of medicine, and have never done drugs, and now I know why. I’ve got a sensitive system, and that stuff does not sit well with me. Happy to be just dealing with pain, and taking a Tylenol as needed.
Well... Here is where the title comes in... I have my post-op to get the staples removed this Friday (FINGERS CROSSED...). So I went to the NFL Vikings Shop, and bought a 2017 NFC North Champs T-Shirt for both my Wife & I, and I bought a 2017 NFC North Champs Beanie for myself. I actually paid an addition $22.50 so we could get it next day, so my Wife & I could wear it to rub in the Packers fan nurse’s face!
So I ask... Too much?
Also, any other ways to scheme, and annoy my nurse?
|
