OT: Dad Joke Thread....

[Montana Tom]

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.

I wondered why the baseball was getting closer and closer. Then it hit me.

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.

What did one eye say to the other? “Between us, something smells.”

[Zanary]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. 
A man leans in and asks, "do you mind of I say a word?".

"No, go right ahead" she replies.

The man stands, clears his throat, says "plethora", and sits back down.

"Thanks", the widow said. "That means a lot".

[JimmyinSD]

Horse walks into a bar
Bartender looks at him and says "why the long face?"

[StickierBuns]

Dad: 'So what do you find cuter: a Panda Baby or a Matter Baby?'

Wife: 'What's a Matter Baby?'

Dad: 'Nothing sweetie, what's a matter with you?'