Reporting Elder Abuse-Not One Of My Spoof Subject Lines

reddit legal advice might be a good place to start. theyll want to know location to be able to point you to the right authorities. 

It might be too late for what has already happened but going forward someone needs to be appointed guardian. In my mothers case, my sister became her “medical” guardian and I became her “financial” guardian.  An audit will need to completed on all her assets by the guardian. So hopefully someone else has an idea of all her accounts and valuables. We acquired a lawyer to do all of this so there is some cost involved. Hope this helps. NO FUN

If there is financial abuse, banks and financial institutions are there to help.  I work for a financial company and we take training on this issue every year.  They have a reporting program in place, and there is a contact number  for suspicious or fraudulent activity.

Its going to be difficult because the sister can just say the Mom gave her ok on transactions and with her dementia, it will be hard to prove. The paper trail is the place to start, however, and if it can be proved that the daughter is a menace, your girlfriend can get power of attorney. If the other daughter gets power of attorney, game over....she'll have the legal right to do whatever she pleases financially with her Mother's money.

I would suggest to proceed in the shadows and quickly so that the evil daughter doesnt catch wind of your suspicions and try and take counter actions to not only block your good daughters efforts,  but she could end up setting up more obstacles (and ensuing costs) to get her removed from the moms financial situation.... or I know some boys from nawlins,  dont ask anymore questions,  2 words "plausible deniability"

@"StickyBun" said: Its going to be difficult because the sister can just say the Mom gave her ok on transactions and with her dementia, it will be hard to prove. The paper trail is the place to start, however, and if it can be proved that the daughter is a menace, your girlfriend can get power of attorney. If the other daughter gets power of attorney, game over....she'll have the legal right to do whatever she pleases financially with her Mother's money.

I hate to guess but would say its likely she already has POA. That still shouldnt take away her fiduciary responsibility towards the mother. 

Its one thing if the daughter is buying goceries and eating them.  Its another if shes buying all expence paid trips to Europe. 

Yes I would report it. That s7cks.
I regret a time I suspected and didn't want to get involved. I had an elderly neighbor who got ripped of by her own daughter. They take that sh!t seriously in Florida. However after she had her mother ruled incompetent and used power of attorney to sell all her assets she fled with her husband to his country. After my neighbor was put in the ALS they got her stable and she began thinking clearly again.  However she had no home to come back to.
Sad and sick someone would put their mother through that.

@"BrickVike" said: It might be too late for what has already happened but going forward someone needs to be appointed guardian. In my mothers case, my sister became her “medical” guardian and I became her “financial” guardian.  An audit will need to completed on all her assets by the guardian. So hopefully someone else has an idea of all her accounts and valuables. We acquired a lawyer to do all of this so there is some cost involved. Hope this helps. NO FUN

This is good advice...

One of my best friends had this happen in his family.  It's not fun and takes a lot of time to obtain all the information to show their was misconduct.  Start out by contacting all the financial institutions to get copies of bank statements, etc. for the time period you suspect this was happening and a period before.  Have a lawyer review the documents and it should be pretty easy to see a pattern of expenses when she was taking care of herself compared to after she was in assisted living (or a nursing home) and the misconduct started.

Once you have the information, you can decide what to do at that point...  ask her to pay it back, deduct it from her inheritance when that time comes, or some other resolution.  Either way, your girlfriend should have someone designated as her guardian or POA that has her best interests in mind moving forward.  Cancel credit cards, change account passwords, etc.

It blows my mind how greedy people are and it's sick that a son or daughter would prey on their elderly parent(s).

Best of luck.

@"BarrNone55" said: My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.

Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances. 

If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.

About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother.  First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers.  My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges.  Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount.  This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval.  Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.

@"ArizonaViking" said:

@"BarrNone55" said: My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.

Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances. 

If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.

About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother.  First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers.  My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges.  Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount.  This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval.  Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.

@"StickyBun" said:

@"ArizonaViking" said:

@"BarrNone55" said: My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.

Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances. 

If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.

About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother.  First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers.  My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges.  Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount.  This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval.  Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.

That's how to do it. When you have POA, you can do ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Its a powerful thing to have as far as controlling financial aspects of someone's life. And the law can do nothing about it. So its obviously in the best interests to not have that in someone's hands that are unscrupulous. 

@"StickyBun" said:

@"ArizonaViking" said:

@"BarrNone55" said: My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.

Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances. 

If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.

About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother.  First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers.  My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges.  Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount.  This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval.  Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.

That's how to do it. When you have POA, you can do ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Its a powerful thing to have as far as controlling financial aspects of someone's life. And the law can do nothing about it. So its obviously in the best interests to not have that in someone's hands that are unscrupulous. 

Yeah it's unfortunate, but this brings the worst out in some "good" families.  Wonder if its nature or nurture.  Seems like we are wired for a predisposition of F..up when it comes to this type of thing.     

@"BigAl99" said: Yeah it's unfortunate, but this brings the worst out in some "good" families.  Wonder if its nature or nurture.  Seems like we are wired for a predisposition to F..up when it comes to this type of thing.     

It's a weird thing.  My siblings (all sisters) are normally calm and reserved.  When Mom died, though, and I was named the executor, dividing the estate became an issue with the infighting.  Death and ill health make people do things they would normally find unthinkable.

I'm very sorry to hear this. It's sad how common things like this have become and it's a reminder that you may not think you're that old, but you never know what tomorrow might bring. There is rarely a perfect way to handle any of this, but having your affairs in order is extremely important.

There is a special place in hell for people who abuse the elderly.  I am getting more and more reports of this unfortunately. People suck.