OT: Matt Lauer canned at NBC for inappropriate workplace behavior

[Guest]

A woman I worked with but didn't really know very well came into my office once and with a wink and a smile described a particular sexual act. I probably should've gone to HR.

Instead I married her. She's the mother of my kids.  

[Guest]

@MaroonBells said:
A woman I worked with but didn't really know very well came into my office once and with a wink and a smile described a particular sexual act. I probably should've gone to HR.

Instead I married her. She's the mother of my kids.  

Well if she had your kids it was very responsible of you to marry her.  GooD job MB. 

[Guest]

@MaroonBells said:
A woman I worked with but didn't really know very well came into my office once and with a wink and a smile described a particular sexual act. I probably should've gone to HR.

Instead I married her. She's the mother of my kids.  

LOL, good stuff. With some women, the non-work talk like that is no big deal. Its just goofing around. But to others, its offensive. Inappropriate for the workplace and makes them highly uncomfortable. You have to respect that. And getting your ass grabbed or groped otherwise is just wrong. No place for it anywhere. 

I know some older guys don't understand this. They want to blame the women, that's their first reaction. They also blame 'kids today' and other deflections of what is really going on. Some really stupid things come out of people's mouths with their opinions on this. Especially having a position of power and doing these things, its a toxic work environment on many levels. 

[Guest]

The older guys understand, they just don't care. It's a totally different thing when it's mutual and both are joking around. But when one person feels uncomfortable and powerless, it's an entirely different story. If one person grabs and forces another, that is unacceptable. Money and power is what kept the cycle going for so long. 

[Guest]

@StickyBun said:

@MaroonBells said:
A woman I worked with but didn't really know very well came into my office once and with a wink and a smile described a particular sexual act. I probably should've gone to HR.

Instead I married her. She's the mother of my kids.  

With some women, the non-work talk like that is no big deal. Its just goofing around. But to others, its offensive. 

This...Guys (gals) need to have the sensitivity radar attuned enough to know where the line is with an individual - and don't cross it. Also common sense. 

Its the common sense part that I don't trust many to have, not after the latest presidential elections anyhow  

[Guest]

New Franken accuser tells CNN the senator cupped her breastAn Army veteran is the latest to accuse Minnesota Sen. Al Franken of unwanted touching, according a CNN report Thursday morning.
The national news network says that Stephanie Kemplin, 41, of Maineville, Ohio, alleges that Franken groped her in December 2003, while she was deployed in Kuwait, cupping her breast during a photo opportunity.
The CNN report includes a photo of Kemplin posing with Franken, which she said was taken moments after he groped her and she shifted position to get his hand off her breast.

http://www.startribune.com/new-franken-a...461001713/

[Guest]

@Vikergirl said:
The older guys understand, they just don't care. It's a totally different thing when it's mutual and both are joking around. But when one person feels uncomfortable and powerless, it's an entirely different story. If one person grabs and forces another, that is unacceptable. Money and power is what kept the cycle going for so long. 

That's the part I don't get. It's sometimes hard to discern when a woman IS interested. It's not hard at ALL to discern when she's not. And for 90% of us, that's the point where it shuts down. Men who go beyond that point are likely turned on by the lack of consent. And that's a scary thing. 

[Guest]

@A1Janitor said:
It is irresponsible to discuss women who have used sex as a tool in these situations. 

Innocent until proven guilty ... but in these cases coming out there appears to be legitimate victims. 

I don't get men who treat women this way.  

How's that?    Do these situations not take place?  Do these people not try and use the leverage gained through these relationships for career or financial gains?

Are there unwanted advancements and acts,  yes and they should be dealt with,  however how much of this is being reported at such and is really something else?  In the court of public opinion every name that gets dropped right now is going to be destroyed,  regardless of the validity of the claim.

This shit needs to stop,  but we also need to reserve judgement amid a waterfall of allegations.  Yes some are pretty cut and dry like Frankens accusers photographic evidence,  but some also might be something else,  like the NPR dude,  if that was an isolated incident it may very well be an unfortunate accident.

[Guest]

Honestly... I just avoid personal contact as much as possible.  It might make me seem stand-off-ish... or just "cold".  But I can promise you that no one will EVER be able to accuse me of any of this stuff.  And, in my line of work, even an accusation would be enough to end my career.

[Guest]

@Clanzomaelan said:
Crazy. I live my life by a pretty simple set of rules...

1) Be a good human...

2) Don't do things that are destructive to others. Apply destructive to any and all scenarios.

Some of these dudes are pretty high on power. I've met a few in my industry, and have had some pretty challenging situations arise because of people in power forgetting Rules 1 & 2.

Because I'm a Star Wars dork... I've found some folks are Anakin than Luke, and more easily seduced to the Dark Side (ie: being an asshole).

That's pretty much how I try to go about the day, as much of an ornery prick I can be. I defend guys constantly just because women annoy the absolute bejesus out of me. Having said that, there's no defending the Weinsteins or the Spaceys. As far as Lauer, from what I've read he just sounds like he's guilty of putting women in uncomfortable situations they don't deserve to be in (ie buying a woman a sex toy and telling her how he'd like her to use it). I don't see that as assault, that's just a guy who isn't good looking enough to pull off a stunt like that. If Zac Efron tried that, you wouldn't hear about any harassment claims because they'd be too busy eagerly fucking him.

Friends and I discussed this the other day, and we think it could be a watershed moment not only for women's rights, but will cause men's behavior to change in ways you wouldn't expect. I see a LOT fewer men trying to fit into this social construct we've had for centuries. And by that, I mean building a traditional nuclear family at a young age. The underlying common denominator that isn't getting discussed as that ALL these men (and I'd argue most men in general) wanna go around fucking their way through life, but also have a stable family environment. Having their cake and eating it too. 

I think this will force a lot more men to be more transparent in their desires, even in the face of potentially not being able to "settle down" the way they'd like. That'll come much further down the line, but I highly doubt men will "clean up" their behavior and live the straight and narrow: meet one woman, marry her, and treat her and only her as the sexual desire of his life. 

EDIT: I should again add that this in no way excuses any of the assault allegations. I'm talking the harassment stories we've heard of, from married men. Guys who - if they did this to your sister - you'd want to kill them, but they're probably not bad people overall. They're just trying to get some "side" and are doing a crass job of it because they've earned positions of power. Specifically, I read an article about Lauer and one source was quoted explaining his behavior as (paraphrasing), "He's Matt Lauer, so he can't go into the public and have an affair because he'd get caught, so he has to keep it in his own professional work web."