Parents are a plague on youth sports

[StickierBuns]

https://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id...aches-quit

Not surprising, but if you've ever been in the stands for youth sports, its unreal. Truly.

[Chuckf]

https://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id...aches-quit

Not surprising, but if you've ever been in the stands for youth sports, its unreal. Truly.

My daughter played travel club Volleyball at the highest level from 13u-17u.   I could tell you stories.  The best parent melt downs were at the USAV National Qualifiers.  See a mom literally attack her daughters coach another woman physically about playing time in the lobby at the Northern Lights National Qualifier at the Minneapolis Convention Center.   It was UGLY! Punches thrown and connected then a roll on the floor.  I think that team was from Dallas.  UGH.

[MaroonBells]

After 4 years of high school and travel baseball, I can report that some youth sports parents are ugly examples of humanity. One kid my son played with was an average player, but he was also a douchebag. His teammates hated playing with him. He had a parent (I called him "baseball dad") who was also a dick, and all the other parents avoided him. We're in the Dominican Republic for a tourney and he would frequently go off on any kid who made an error. “How do you drop a ball like that at THIS level!?”

I asked him, “you know we can hear you, right?” The mother of that kid heard me and let him have it. Later, at dinner, he goes on and on about how his son was getting letters from Stanford, which was obviously and demonstrably false. Why would you lie about that? Self-esteem is my guess. I kinda felt sorry for him.

[StickierBuns]

I have many, MANY stores from when I played basketball and then when my son was in track and field and we traveled for it, but on a more every-day level we have a single Mom friend with a girl who is now 18 years old. Her name is Ella and Ella was NOT any kind of athlete...at all. But she got onto the girl's basketball team because it was a horribly small program and she was the 12th and last person on the team, she's a big girl so I'm sure the coach thought she could grab some rebounds in 3-4 minutes of mop up duty in blowouts. My wife and I went to a few games to support her....Ella's Mom would sit in the stands and yell 'Ellllllaaaa!' sporadically throughout the games she got in. No context to the yelling, never when she got a rebound or the mere seconds she might be dribbling the basketball, just completely at random. Loudly enough that other parents would turn around and look. She then would talk to us loudly about how Ella was going to be getting basketball scholarship offers. This Mom never played sports and has 0.0% knowledge of anything basketball scholarship related. None. I was embarrassed for her because she making a complete fool of herself AND misguiding Ella big time that she was better than she was....which caused Ella to be dissatisfied with her playing time because her clueless Mom put it in her head. Poor thing, quite honestly. What she did was ruin Ella's enjoyment about being on a team with other girls and the camaraderie.

[JimmyinSD]

they were talking about NIL hitting the HS level now on KFAN this morning with Greenway, and how that is making this even worse as you have parents that are thinking they are agents

[Chuckf]

After 4 years of high school and travel baseball, I can report that some youth sports parents are ugly examples of humanity. One kid my son played with was an average player, but he was also a douchebag. His teammates hated playing with him. He had a parent (I called him "baseball dad") who was also a dick, and all the other parents avoided him. We're in the Dominican Republic for a tourney and he would frequently go off on any kid who made an error. “How do you drop a ball like that at THIS level!?”

I asked him, “you know we can hear you, right?” The mother of that kid heard me and let him have it. Later, at dinner, he goes on and on about how his son was getting letters from Stanford, which was obviously and demonstrably false. Why would you lie about that? Self-esteem is my guess. I kinda felt sorry for him.

We had one player in Club who thought they were entitled to the libero position because she had that position in High School and there was some drama there and when my daughter actually earned it her mom took the coach, the club owner, and Director to task and had to be sat down and have it explained to her why they did what they did.   A little chilly after that.    My wife and I made a pact when we started club fastpitch to NEVER be THAT parent.   We never lobbied for our daughter, never kissed any coaches behinds, or anything like that.   It is hard to watch your kid get screwed over sometimes and have other parents comment to you they don't agree with what the coach is doing but we NEVER said a word.  We taught her at 10U to ask the coach herself what she needed to do to play more or at a desired position.  In  the end it all didn't matter anyway because by the time her senior year of high school volleyball season was over she was burned out anyway and the schools that did show interest in her she wasn't interested in attending.

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they were talking about NIL hitting the HS level now on KFAN this morning with Greenway, and how that is making this even worse as you have parents that are thinking they are agents

For the love of Pete.  REALLY?   That is going to end well.   We already have all sorts of drama going on with the open enrollment debacle.   All the 5-A high schools are basically recruiting now.  Need a QB?  Steal one from another school.    Need a 5-1 setter for Volleyball?   Put it out there and recruit them.   Sad really, I guess I am happy I grew up when I did and played high school sports with the guys I grew up with.   Take me back to 1984!   It got really crazy during covid when all the great athletes couldn't play HS ball due to the school shutdowns.   The Iowa High Schools went nuts recruiting, there were accusations, lawsuits.  Pathetic.

[JimmyinSD]

We had one player in Club who thought they were entitled to the libero position because she had that position in High School and there was some drama there and when my daughter actually earned it her mom took the coach, the club owner, and Director to task and had to be sat down and have it explained to her why they did what they did.   A little chilly after that.    My wife and I made a pact when we started club fastpitch to NEVER be THAT parent.   We never lobbied for our daughter, never kissed any coaches behinds, or anything like that.   It is hard to watch your kid get screwed over sometimes and have other parents comment to you they don't agree with what the coach is doing but we NEVER said a word.  We taught her at 10U to ask the coach herself what she needed to do to play more or at a desired position.  In  the end it all didn't matter anyway because by the time her senior year of high school volleyball season was over she was burned out anyway and the schools that did show interest in her she wasn't interested in attending.

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For the love of Pete.  REALLY?   That is going to end well.   We already have all sorts of drama going on with the open enrollment debacle.   All the 5-A high schools are basically recruiting now.  Need a QB?  Steal one from another school.    Need a 5-1 setter for Volleyball?   Put it out there and recruit them.   Sad really, I guess I am happy I grew up when I did and played high school sports with the guys I grew up with.   Take me back to 1984!   It got really crazy during covid when all the great athletes couldn't play HS ball due to the school shutdowns.   The Iowa High Schools went nuts recruiting, there were accusations, lawsuits.  Pathetic.

I have known schools that have arranged for high paying jobs for parents that wanted to move their kids to a new town for sports reasons. might as well get the shit out in the open,  all I have to say is if/when this comes to SD,  i will be working to get a law introduced to remove HS sports from the school systems and charge rent for the facilities for the clubs that pop up in its wake.   tax payers should not be spending a dime on a system that is so fucked up like sports has become,  still pisses me off that our state supported colleges and universities are involved in the shit.

[Chuckf]

I have known schools that have arranged for high paying jobs for parents that wanted to move their kids to a new town for sports reasons. might as well get the shit out in the open,  all I have to say is if/when this comes to SD,  i will be working to get a law introduced to remove HS sports from the school systems and charge rent for the facilities for the clubs that pop up in its wake.   tax payers should not be spending a dime on a system that is so fucked up like sports has become,  still pisses me off that our state supported colleges and universities are involved in the shit.

I agree COMPLETELY!   Man we have lost our way so badly when it comes to sports.  There are a lot of girls my daughter played with in club and in High School that are now freshmen and sophomores in college who are so happy its over.   One of her friends was 6'-2" and a really good player when pursued by colleges made the comment, "volleyball has ruled my life for the last 5 years, its not going to rule my life for the next 4 to a college recruiter.   Its too damn much.   My daughter LOVED softball and Volleyball but was FORCED to make a choice due to the commitment required to play at those levels.  Sad really.   I played football, wrestled, ran track, baseball etc.   Coaches say the love the multi sport athlete but their actions say differently.    Even have heard our HS softball coach tell the girls they had to choose between Club and School ball.   Then when some girls chose school ball they still lost their positions to the club girls because the club girls played almost year round and at a way higher competition so they were just that much better.   Nuts I tell ya!

[JimmyinSD]

I agree COMPLETELY!   Man we have lost our way so badly when it comes to sports.  There are a lot of girls my daughter played with in club and in High School that are now freshmen and sophomores in college who are so happy its over.   One of her friends was 6'-2" and a really good player when pursued by colleges made the comment, "volleyball has ruled my life for the last 5 years, its not going to rule my life for the next 4 to a college recruiter.   Its too damn much.   My daughter LOVED softball and Volleyball but was FORCED to make a choice due to the commitment required to play at those levels.  Sad really.   I played football, wrestled, ran track, baseball etc.   Coaches say the love the multi sport athlete but their actions say differently.    Even have heard our HS softball coach tell the girls they had to choose between Club and School ball.   Then when some girls chose school ball they still lost their positions to the club girls because the club girls played almost year round and at a way higher competition so they were just that much better.   Nuts I tell ya!

about 30 years ago I was helping start a youth hockey program in a small town,  the HS basketball coach told his players that if they even came down and skated with us they would be off his team.

I have seen our local school identify their "next state championship team"  at the late elementary level and give those kids all the playing time from then on and basically ignore the kids a little older or younger all the way through,  sadly both my son and daughter followed one of those chosen groups through HS so they both were screwed over and even once the chosen kids graduated the coaches had already set their sights on another younger group so they got screwed over as seniors,  I finally lost it with my sons HS basketball coach,  felt kind of bad for some of what I said,  but I didnt say anything that wasnt true and I at least did it behind closed doors and not in the gym during a game like I had felt like so many times.

[Chuckf]

about 30 years ago I was helping start a youth hockey program in a small town,  the HS basketball coach told his players that if they even came down and skated with us they would be off his team.

I have seen our local school identify their "next state championship team"  at the late elementary level and give those kids all the playing time from then on and basically ignore the kids a little older or younger all the way through,  sadly both my son and daughter followed one of those chosen groups through HS so they both were screwed over and even once the chosen kids graduated the coaches had already set their sights on another younger group so they got screwed over as seniors,  I finally lost it with my sons HS basketball coach,  felt kind of bad for some of what I said,  but I didnt say anything that wasnt true and I at least did it behind closed doors and not in the gym during a game like I had felt like so many times.

I have never understood that way of thinking.   Late elementary level?   How in the HELL do they know who will be bigger, stronger, faster, BETTER when they get to High School?  I was always a small kid at those ages.   Hell I wrestled at 119 in 9th grade and actually had certified at 112 preseason.  Lucky to be a little over 5' at the time.   When I was a senior I was 6'-2" 175 guy.  There are always those kids you KNOW are going to be fantastic athletes at younger ages by just knowing their parents history and size but most you don't know until they mature.   Also a lot of those kids who are really good at those 10-11-12 year old ages may not work NEARLY as hard as the other kids.   Did you have any of the BB players come skate with you guys and if so did the BB coach cut them?

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My daughter's 16U Club coach told me college recruiters have been telling the clubs and HS coaches to lay off the mind games and intensity because they are finding so many really good players who are burned out and no longer want to play to the point they are turning down scholarship money because they don't think its worth the effort. Crazy.