Quote: @ArizonaViking said:
@"BarrNone55" said:
My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.
Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances.
If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.
About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother. First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers. My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges. Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount. This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval. Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.
That's how to do it. When you have POA, you can do ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Its a powerful thing to have as far as controlling financial aspects of someone's life. And the law can do nothing about it. So its obviously in the best interests to not have that in someone's hands that are unscrupulous.
Quote: @StickyBun said:
@ ArizonaViking said:
@"BarrNone55" said:
My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.
Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances.
If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.
About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother. First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers. My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges. Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount. This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval. Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.
That's how to do it. When you have POA, you can do ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Its a powerful thing to have as far as controlling financial aspects of someone's life. And the law can do nothing about it. So its obviously in the best interests to not have that in someone's hands that are unscrupulous.
POA can still be challenged in SD. My wife has co- POA for her dad as he has terminal brain cancer, but there are things that the state and our lawyers have told us to not have my wife sign for her dad as they could be challenged due to our interest in buying up parts of his estate after his passing, and even now since his conditions have improved some what the lawyers recommend my wife only signing for him in times of his impairment and letting him handle his own affairs when he is "having a good day". basically she runs everything past her siblings before she does much of anything and thats the way I want it. with 8 kids I can see this being UGLY when his time passes.
Quote: @StickyBun said:
@ ArizonaViking said:
@"BarrNone55" said:
My girlfriend found out last night that her sister is taking financial advantage of their 83 year old mother. Has anyone had a similar situation? Did reporting it to state authorities help? I'm wondering what the burden of proof is as well as outcome as far as recouping any of the financial losses.
Their mother has almost no short term memory, and is also terrified of her own daughter. I'm thinking this is a lost cause due to a number of circumstances.
If there is a hell, this woman deserves it and then some.
About 7 or 8 years ago, my older brother and I found out the same thing was happening to our Mom from our youngest brother. First thing we did, other than threatening our youngest brother's life, we convinced our Mom to give one of us "Power of Attorney" over her finances, closed any/all bank accounts and re-opened new ones including changing her pin numbers. My older brother and I closely monitored any movement of money exchanges. Also, we requested the Bank to "Red Flag" any withdrawals from her accounts over a specific amount. This way the Bank would notify us requesting approval. Really save our Mom and helped her to have a fulfilled life until her passing last year.
That's how to do it. When you have POA, you can do ANYTHING. And I mean anything. Its a powerful thing to have as far as controlling financial aspects of someone's life. And the law can do nothing about it. So its obviously in the best interests to not have that in someone's hands that are unscrupulous.
You can “DO” anything as a POA. Doesnt mean its legal and doesnt mean the other children wont hold their feet to the fire. A poa has a fiduciary responsibility and thus if a pattern of decisions were made that were clearly not in the Moms best interest then there can be legal issues. However, im not a lawyer so by all mean discuss this with them.
Yeah it's unfortunate, but this brings the worst out in some "good" families. Wonder if its nature or nurture. Seems like we are wired for a predisposition of F..up when it comes to this type of thing.
Quote: @BigAl99 said:
Yeah it's unfortunate, but this brings the worst out in some "good" families. Wonder if its nature or nurture. Seems like we are wired for a predisposition to F..up when it comes to this type of thing.
It's a weird thing. My siblings (all sisters) are normally calm and reserved. When Mom died, though, and I was named the executor, dividing the estate became an issue with the infighting. Death and ill health make people do things they would normally find unthinkable.
I'm very sorry to hear this. It's sad how common things like this have become and it's a reminder that you may not think you're that old, but you never know what tomorrow might bring. There is rarely a perfect way to handle any of this, but having your affairs in order is extremely important.
There is a special place in hell for people who abuse the elderly. I am getting more and more reports of this unfortunately. People suck.
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