The Wit of Scots:

[ThunderGod]

The Wit of Scots: 

A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbucks cafe discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well we Greeks built the Parthenon" and arched his eyebrows.

The Scotsman replies, "Well ... it was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Scotsman, nodding in agreement says, "Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars."

And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!"

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women!"

[Guest]

a good friend of mine is from Scotland, and you talk about a heavy accent... I cant understand him unless I have been drinking!  I once told him to text me as he was right in front of me...  we were on the same dart team and always made fun of each other, the best one was when he told me that the Scots were the one that had invented the sheep skin condom. I replied "yeah but the Japanese were the first one to use it outside of the sheep"   he got mad, called me a lot of bad names, then about 20 minutes later laughed his arse off too.... 

[Guest]

Met a Scotsman in Jamaica a few years back. 

He said his name was "Laddie with a B". I called him Baddie all week. Before he left I heard someone call him "Barry".