CLASSMATES (Friday Joke)

[ThunderGod]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD! 

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

 

 

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50+ YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.

 

 

"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1967. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,  BALD, WRINKLED, GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT OLD

 MAN ASKED ME,

 

"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

[Guest]

That's funny, and oh so painfully true. Age is a cruel, creepy and disorienting thing.

So I'm in Boston for work sitting at the bar with several co-workers. I'm 53 and they're all in their 30s. After a few, I find myself staring at the absolutely gorgeous 20-something bartender. I talk to her a bit, entertain impossible thoughts...when one of my co-workers leans over and whispers that our Boston guide at the other end of the bar is recently divorced and apparently thinks I'm pretty amazing. "I can't believe you aren't catching on to this!" she says. Wait, what? Huh? I smile and say nothing. But inside an alarm goes off. That's a little old lady! And at that very same moment I crash dick down into reality: Yes, she is a little old lady...and likely younger than I am.

It was a disturbing and revealing thought that I didn't like one bit. I stopped staring at the bartender. 

[Guest]

I had a customer who I thought was a lot older than I was.  I asked him one time what is age was. 
When he answered we were the same age.  I thought to myself, "is that what I look like".  Then I realized that I DID look like him.   Boy that humbles you fast.
The years fly by way too fast!